Dio is attending a Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
So I guess I am supposed to tell you that I am an alcoholic and how long I have been sober. Well I do like to drink but I am afraid being sober is not my cup of tea. Oh, wait, I forgot to tell you who I am. My name is Dionysus. I am Greek as my name suggests. Most people don’t believe it when I tell them who I am. I guess as long as I am here I might as well entertain myself. As I said I am Dionysus. The God of the grape harvest, winemaking, wine, and the God of ritual madness and fertility. I know. Now you think I am mad, crazy, insane, or maybe you prefer the more clinical descriptions that have been ascribed to me. I have been called delusional, filled with aberrations, delirium, dementia, derangement, fanaticism, psychopathy and so many more. It’s become quite mundane and boring to me. You see I have been stripped of all my adornments, my royal accoutrements, and indeed forced to where clothes. How disgusting. There was a time during my sensuous, naked, androgynous youth that I would arrive triumphant from a place beyond all known civilizations in my chariot drawn by lions and tigers. My very presence would create a frenzied response from the masses. Wine would be poured, music would fill the air, and ecstatic dance would free my followers from self-conscious fear and care and they would subvert the oppressive restraints of the powerful and yield to my every need. (He looks at his watch.) Oh, dear God! Or should I say “Oh, dear me!”. Do any of you have change for a dollar? The time is running out on my meter and I here the meter ladies around here are unyielding. Sorry but I must run.