To Hell With It!

TO HELL WITH IT!
Written by Ryan O’Harris

A catholic priest is giving a sermon about hell when a man sitting in the pews suddenly stands up.

If hell is a place we might end up, then I need to ask some very serious questions. Father, you and the other priests on the dais behind you all pretend to be a pious lot I suspect more self-righteous than sanctified. You march in here prepared to lecture and… hell, let’s say it like it is. You’re prepared to threaten, manipulate, terrorize, and downright frighten the holy shit out of everyone. I’m sorry. Is shit not a word that I should use? Since you already told me I’m going to hell for all eternity, I guess my first question should be if that is true, then why the hell should I worry about saying shit? You got to realize that when you tell people something like that, shit is going to happen. But you know what? Just to show you what a good person I really am, I’m not going to say shit any more. Well, what I say I am sure you are going to think is shit, but the actual word… you know…”shit.” Well, I’m done with that. Won’t say it even one more fucking time. What? I just don’t get you guys. I promise not to say it, and you still look like I cut the balls off your best friend. Look, you guys are the ones that come to this church every Sunday and put on your priest robes as though it is a Godly cloak. If you don’t want the women in your congregation talking about what’s under there, then put on some damn pants. You know what, I got to get the hell out of here. That’s funny, isn’t it? You tell me I’m going to hell, and I tell you I got to get the hell out of here. Shit, that’s just pure irony. Sorry, I said it again, didn’t I?