Stolen

Stolen Written by Ryan O’Harris Does that make you feel better? Are you all excited now? I mean you want me to be the animal you read about, don’t you? January 3, 1979, a man by the name of Raymond Ellis White kidnapped and killed four women. He didn’t just kill them. He tortured and …

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Pinocchio

Pinocchio Written by Ryan O’Harris Pinocchio Hi. How are you doing? I just killed Geppetto. No. I did. I stuck a wood carving knife in his head. Don’t look at me like that. You don’t know what kind of life he gave me. He was a master wood carver. He could have made me anything: …

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To Hell With It!

TO HELL WITH IT! Written by Ryan O’Harris A catholic priest is giving a sermon about hell when a man sitting in the pews suddenly stands up. If hell is a place we might end up, then I need to ask some very serious questions. Father, you and the other priests on the dais behind …

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Cheers

Cheers Written by Ryan O’Harris Dio is attending a Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Dio So I guess I am supposed to tell you that I am an alcoholic and how long I have been sober.  Well I do like to drink but I am afraid being sober is not my cup of tea.   Oh, wait, I …

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Job Wanted

Job Wanted Written by Ryan O’Harris Before I tell you about myself, I just want to thank all of you employers that have gathered here to help all of us find jobs and give us each an opportunity to tell you what our skills are and how we can help you as an employee.  I …

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Zombie On Welfare

Zombie On Welfare Written by Ryan O’Harris I called this meeting of the Zombie Center For Dead Rights because I have something very important to talk to you all about.  First, let me apologize for the brain hors d’Oeuvers.  I know they were very bitter.  Since this is Washington DC, too many politicians got into …

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Lilith

Lilith Written by Ryan O’Harris Hello, ladies.  So you all consider yourself to be on the cutting edge of  modern day feminism?  My ad said I was looking for strong, independent, motivated women to help me take the movement to the next step.  I seriously doubt any of you know what it really means to …

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